yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
