I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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