Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
