No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
