I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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