nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
