The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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