3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
