If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
