i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
