Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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