Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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