That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize