i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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