Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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