All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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