I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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