Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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