You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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