Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize