There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
