I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
they're like a gay fantastic four
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
