JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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