Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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