It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize