Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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