You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
