im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
