At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
