she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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