I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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