What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
