so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
