This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
