Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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