3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
