I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
