Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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