Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
