I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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