At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
