I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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