You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
