and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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