the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize