is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize