Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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