i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
