i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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