I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
