think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
