We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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