you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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