it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
