Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize