"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
