Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
