Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
