Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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