I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
