No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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