We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
