That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
